


Passivity

by Lilium_the_yuri_goddess



Series: IFH Holiday Advent! [1]
Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: F/F, Gen, Holidays, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27870253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilium_the_yuri_goddess/pseuds/Lilium_the_yuri_goddess
Summary: Years after Aqours, Hanamaru finally got the peaceful life she always wanted. Such peace and quiet can get lonesome as the holiday season rolls around however.
Relationships: Kazuno Sarah/Kurosawa Dia, Kurosawa Ruby/Tsushima Yoshiko
Series: IFH Holiday Advent! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040453
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Passivity

“Goodbye, Hanamaru. T’was a pleasure speaking to you from the netherworld once more. May you visit our domain in due time.”

“I have to go too! Oneechan and Kazuno-san are calling soon! Goodbye Hanamaru!”

“Goodbye…zura”

The energetic conversation faded out to silence with the beep of an ended call. Hanamaru was left almost completely in the dark, the little light she had with her in the room growing dimmer as the phone left on her desk went into standby, and then shut off moments later. All the while Maru sat still and silent, staring out the window before her at the snow. It had begun to fall hours ago, but over time it picked up. Now the night was almost obscured as a storm raged outside of Hanamaru’s quaint little home.

Normally Hanamaru would love nights like this. Her home out in the countryside gave her the perfect view, unobstructed by buildings, bright lights and the bustle of city life. Nights like this very one would have been a dream come true for her, the gentle flutter of snowflakes as they fell serving as the perfect inspiration. Words would flow as snow slowly piled up on the ground, characters and scenes springing up from the page at the same time as the grass right outside vanished beneath a sea of white.

Now, Hanamaru only wished that the snow would go away. The peace she grew to love about her remote home had turned against her as Christmas neared. The tranquil stillness of the winter air outside reinforced her isolation, not even the smallest bird or cricket present to sing their song, to let her know that she wasn’t completely alone. The snow she usually watched with fascination now made her feel trapped as the storm grew, obscuring the outside world in a screen of white and leaving only the inside of her room.

_It’s not anyone’s fault. Our lives are busy now, that’s all…_

That was always what she would think to herself, and for the most part it was true. Aqours was a dream everyone had to wake up from, even Hanamaru, and that they did. They all had to move on with their lives. Ruby and Yoshiko hadn’t strayed far from Uchiura, settling down with a costume shop that was growing more successful by the day. Hanamaru always cherished the years before, where she would visit their shop and marvel at Yoshiko’s ridiculous ideas that Ruby had sewn into masterpieces. Nights like these would have been a wonder for her, but the threat of the blizzard that had built outside her window restricted such an evening to nothing more than a conversation through a screen that was far too small.

“Uranohoshi Girls’ High closes its doors” read the headline of the newspaper clipping Hanamaru kept taped to her desk. While six years of wear left the text faded and the paper frail, it would always be there as a reminder of how things once were. She glanced at it right after she clicked on her desk light, illuminating her formerly dark room. While Uchiura and Aqours were far behind her, the time she spent there would never leave her mind.

_I hope Ruby and Yoshiko are happy tonight. I’m glad they didn’t forget me_

A resigned sigh escaped her as she finally got up from her seat. The growing tightness in her chest loomed over her like a grim harbinger of an even worse night if she were to stay at her desk. She needed to do something, anything to take her mind off of the others. Determined to take her mind off of things she couldn’t change Hanamaru headed off to the kitchen, soft steps breaking the silence as multicolored lights led her down the hall.

  
—

  
She soon returned to her room, a steaming cup of tea in hand and thoughts of her missed night with Ruby and Yoshiko slowly disappearing behind her. A hot beverage and a vigorous writing session was a tried and true method to bring her mood up, and Hanamaru wasn’t one to adventure far from her comforts. As her slippers slid over the solid wood floor her thoughts drifted from those of her friends and took refuge in the world of the written word once more. Now, all she needed to do was find something to write.

After setting the cup down on her desk she ventured to her closet, sliding the doors open to begin her search. She couldn’t muster the energy to start on any of the endless list of ideas scrawled across the whiteboard on the wall, but perhaps inspiration could find her in many of her other works. Her knee tapped against the floor as she reached down to grasp the handle of the lowest of three plastic filing drawers, sliding it open to reveal an ocean of manuscripts, notes, and works in progress. If inspiration were to be found that night, it would certainly be buried somewhere inside this seemingly endless stack.

“I need to clean some of these up zura,” she mused, leafing through a few loosely stapled packets towards the back. Everything from loose ideas to fully fledged titles ran through her mind as she tried to decide on which one to pick up on, Ruby and Yoshiko barely ghosting over her thoughts as she immersed herself in this newfound dedication to her writing. 

_A nighttime stroll, forbidden romance, slice of life. There’s too much here to…_

Nothing could have prepared her for the bright red envelope that popped up, almost tossing itself to the top of the papers as she tried to wrestle a manuscript away. Her thoughts, racing with indecision towards her writing just moments ago came crashing to a halt. Even as shaking hands picked it from the pile it rested on, Hanamaru was in disbelief. The date elegantly written across the bottom marked it just as old as her treasured newspaper, but where sunlight had faded the last memory of Uranohoshi, years spent hidden beneath papers and poetry preserved it almost perfectly. Hanamaru was left breathless as she stared down at her best handwriting, her eyes unblinking and wide as she read a message she wished had been lost to time.

“For Dia”

She couldn’t stop herself from opening it. As clumsy fingers struggled to open it up, earlier thoughts of writing were pushed aside only to be replaced by a flood of memories she thought she had sealed away. While her mind screamed at her to put it away her body refused to listen, freeing the letter inside. She was no longer in control, morbid curiosity leading her actions as if she were a puppet and freeing secrets she never wanted to read again as she was left only to watch.

_Merry Christmas, Dia._

_  
I can’t keep it a secret any longer, you need to know how I feel._

The tightness of her chest came rushing back as if it had never left in the first place, her heart beating furiously before she could even finish the first line.

_Stories are so unlike real life, that is why I lose myself in them. I get to be the main character in my own world. I know I’m one of the supporting cast in Aqours, but you made me feel noticed. You went out of your way to talk to plain old me. To be honest, I thought you only talked to me because I was friends with Ruby, but once I got my head out of the books, I realized how wrong I was._

Each phrase went through her mind slower and slower. What started as words coursing through her thoughts as smoothly as possible became jumbled and broken. Fragments of sentences were separated by increasingly frequent blinks, only to blur once again mere seconds later as she struggled to keep her eyes clear.

_I wasn’t just a friend to Ruby, I was also a friend the most beautiful protagonist I could have ever met. You lead your life bravely, decisively, something I only wish I could do. I have fallen for everything about you, from your impeccable drive to that divine emerald gaze I only wish I could lose myself in. You helped lead Aqours into its first chapter, but I want a story of our own, one we could only share between the two of us._

The paper crinkled as her hands clenched tightly. This was supposed to be a gift to Dia after Hakodate. She had scribbled it out over and over again in her mind even as she and the other first years worked tirelessly on the lyrics for their new song. It had been sealed up tight in the most expensive envelope she could find, but in the end, all her hard work was for nothing.

Hanamaru was never the boldest of girls. She knew this, and she had come to accept it thanks to Ruby and Aqours. She didn’t have to be an energetic go-getter like Chika or Mari, just being herself was enough. This time though, her indecisiveness became her downfall. Days spent pacing her room, working up the nerve to present it to Dia had turned to weeks of indecision and self doubt she lost herself in. By the time she worked up the nerve to overcome it, she was greeted by other news, brought to her by none other than Ruby. Her eyes squeezed shut as she remembered that very day, while the mere thought of it threatened to rend her heart to pieces.

“Hanamaru, did you hear? Oneechan and Kazuno-san went on a date!”

Ever since that day the letter had been buried away, stored beneath paper and manuscripts that got more and more dense with each coming year. She considered asking Ruby where in Tokyo Dia and Sarah had moved off to, but each time that idea came it was pushed away, leaving her feeling more defeated each time. The literary worlds she made had always been Hanamaru’s escape, so she dove into it once more, writing tirelessly to bury her feelings.

She could barely make out the final line when her eyes opened once more. The lenses of her glasses were getting more blurred by the second as teardrops collected on the frame before plopping down against the paper beneath in a pattern scattered by her trembling hands.

_I want our story to continue forever. Could you help write it with me?_


End file.
